Module 3

Everyone has always thought of Psychology as such a difficult concept to wrap their minds around. The study of human tendencies, how they work, how they feel, who they really are has always seemed to be a mystery. What we fail to see is that people are an open book, if you take the time to read them. Sweaty palms, stuttering lies, and nerves twitches are some of the most common ways we know how people are feeling, but what about those times when its just the two of you, and the third is on the way? The articles I chose are about the feelings and expectations mothers go through before giving birth to their first bundle of joy, the differences on how men and woman view these exciting times, and where they stand on parenting as time goes on.

When I read the first article, First-Time Mothers’ Expectations of Parenthood: What Happens When Optimistic expectations Are Not Matched by Later Experiences?, I have to say, I was slightly disappointed. For someone who loves psychology as much as I do, I expected more from the studies. In a nut shell, they wanted to prove that women become surprised and scared as time goes on they realize their sweet little baby was not exactly what they expected him to be.
Harwood, McLean and Durkin try to inform their audience that, basically, if you think positive good things will happen. If you are pessimistic, you are setting yourself up for failure. They spend page after page saying, “Expectations that appear to be overly optimistic have been associated with positive psychological adjustment in individuals in romantic relationships...”and “...optimism promotes favorable outcomes even when optimism takes the form of unrealistically positive expectations...” Now, I don’t know about any one else out there, but this just sounds like the same thing over and over again. They treat their readers as if they don’t have common sense, because I for one never would have thought of any of that on my own!

They then conducted the experiment with a group of women who they felt would definitely fill those roles. They chose women with no health care, the most VITAL necessity in giving birth, having their first child, then made sure that they were low to middle class families, and not necessarily married. As if that was not bad enough, the women were then confronted while in a free health care facility to take the survey. Would you really be happy if that was you?
However, much like the other two articles, the results after having actually conducted the experiments even surprised themselves. Women were not as depressed as they thought they would be. Men did play a considerable role in taking care of their children, and their experiences were more than they could have hoped for. In the first article they felt that if a woman were to have overly optimistic thoughts of their child after birth, they would learn that things were not as positive as they were planning. They felt that this depression and let down would cause a break in their relationships and what they hoped were strong foundations. In actuality, “women’s experiences were more positive than expected... mean experiences were significantly higher than mean expectations.” Relationships did not decline as expected, either. In fact, “[women] were fairly realistic about how parenthood would influence their relationships with others.”

Even while reading the other two articles, including, “Mothers’ and Fathers’ Differential Expectancies and Behaviors: Parent x Child Gender Effects” I was still slightly disappointed. Again, they put everything on the woman and in this case left the man out. They said that, “mothers continue to serve as the focal point for parental activity, maintaining responsibility for almost all child-care roles.” They made it sound as if the man, or husband, would not bond with a child if it was a girl like he would bond with his son. Moon made it a gender issue and forgot the most important factor in having your first born, love. In his studies, just like in the other articles, he found almost no notable difference in how men and women thought when it came to taking care of their children. Of course woman have a stronger emotional bond and men have a stronger physical bond, but nothing strong enough to drive a wedge between the care taking that needed to exist.

All in all, the articles sadly taught me nothing I didnt already somewhat know. Think positive, live well. Think negative, be depressed. Have a girl and spend the emotional time with her while your husband plays ball with his son outside. Its not bad advice for those who are scared, though. If anything these developmental articles can put a weary mind to rest. We all go through these difficult life changes, but we don’t all need someone to tell us when and why.